Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Aleluya!
I don't have any energy to do anything. I am trying to write only because it is part of my homework. But not for any other reason. Today I was so exhausted than I laid down on my bed and I fail to sleep for more than 2 hours. My concenciuos was telling me to get up. Because I was really behind on my work and also and my homework. But I notice it since I my cirugy my body does not want to respond. Maybe because I did not give to my body any time to rest. That is right but with three kids and a single mom it is hard. You do not have time for nothing. Been sick it is a luxery. I am really exhausted. My body it is working extra hours now is claiming for justice. I am only 37 and I feel like I am 47. Every day the school it is more difficult for me. I have two jobs, also I babysitt 4 kids plus 3 kids I have on my own. Sometimes I do not know how i can keeping going. Now my body it is a robot. But sometimes when i felt like I can do it anymore I go to sleep and I feel a little bit better. For example my day tomorrow start at 4.45am and does not finished until 830pm. I need to take a vacations with my kids. I know my kids and I deserved a couple weeks off. But been a single mom it is a nice dream. May be will be the day than I can said aleluya our vacations are here. Azul.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
For my son.
I write these lines dedicated to my son.
Hello love: I only write these lines here as always alone in the four walls of my room where only they know my feelings. You know? I love you and you're everything to me. You are a very special child. When I was pregnant with you waiting your arrival, you always talked. But the most anticipated day a girl arrived just 21 years had the most beautiful baby in the world. I'm not going to lie I was so afraid. You were my doll of flesh and bone. My love was with you at all times, from your first very moment until your first accidet in your bike.I never leave you alone and will not never leave you alone. I'll be there to support you at all times. I will be there to dry your tears, also to celebrate your triumphs or hold your hands and have a word of encouragement at any moment. But always my son I would be here for you. I know that as all had mistakes.I'm not the perfect mother. But I never did anything to hurt your feelings. I know what happened was very painful. Buy you know I would have given my life away to stop it. But I could not. We will fight hand to hand and I will continue with you until the day that you decide to leave. I know this is life. But I'll be always waiting for you. Son, I am a normal woman like any other, the only difference is that this woman who is writing you these lines is the one who gave you life, and yet full of flaws and virtues that once caused you sadness and happiness I am your mother love you eternally.
Hello love: I only write these lines here as always alone in the four walls of my room where only they know my feelings. You know? I love you and you're everything to me. You are a very special child. When I was pregnant with you waiting your arrival, you always talked. But the most anticipated day a girl arrived just 21 years had the most beautiful baby in the world. I'm not going to lie I was so afraid. You were my doll of flesh and bone. My love was with you at all times, from your first very moment until your first accidet in your bike.I never leave you alone and will not never leave you alone. I'll be there to support you at all times. I will be there to dry your tears, also to celebrate your triumphs or hold your hands and have a word of encouragement at any moment. But always my son I would be here for you. I know that as all had mistakes.I'm not the perfect mother. But I never did anything to hurt your feelings. I know what happened was very painful. Buy you know I would have given my life away to stop it. But I could not. We will fight hand to hand and I will continue with you until the day that you decide to leave. I know this is life. But I'll be always waiting for you. Son, I am a normal woman like any other, the only difference is that this woman who is writing you these lines is the one who gave you life, and yet full of flaws and virtues that once caused you sadness and happiness I am your mother love you eternally.
Life!
Hello once again. Sometimes I get melancholy of having a father who went missing more than two years ago but I am very glad to know that some day we'll be together again. Sometimes I never really knew what it was. So I ask you now know what being a parent?.
Know what is being a parent when you realize that the fruit of your dream is now a vibrant reality, living skin tenderness and innocent look to your joy.
You will know the joy of being a parent when you understand your dream and will never be complete, when you hear the crying in the morning, your long dark circles and the satisfaction of seeing your renewal peacefully asleep, but you can not do.
Only you know what is done beaming father when your child walk around in his golden stroller, you talk even though you do not understand you see it yet and surprised to discover every little thing that will be your first lesson in philosophy.
You'll know what it means to be a father when at night run by the medicine you need to ease your fever, to keep track of their shots and when you zoom in on tiptoe to his crib to listen to your breathing, rhythmic and happy.
When I first tell you dad, laugh when he sets the air and not feel the danger because you give your smile safety when prompted him to take his first steps, unequivocal signal that begins the path to your destination and run behind where eagerly his bicycle pedaling the trails and distances the future of your life journey.
You will know the wonder that you have when you wear it for the first time to school and look at his watery eyes not wanting to separate from you and feel the soul sore to walk away leaving him in the midst of other egos, which, however, you learn to be shared.
When you show your first scrawled drawings, which precedes budding Picasso in them the desire for beauty that hides in your heart. And especially when they hug you, taking your hand, thus symbolizing the trust of your strength, that will give you security in your walk.
Know what is being a father when you claim your time and have to seek and find where you when you take it to the circus and the beach and the promenade tiring but rewarding, when on holiday together dream in which both belong completely when you teach to play and complete the puzzle and together walk through the park every splendid April afternoon.
Understand the wonder that God gave you when you first rete with their questions and when you do not know how to answer, when you help to write the letter to Santa and wait until the eve of Christmas with the shared desire of yours and a new child Find in your embrace, your touch and your kiss unconditional, how much you love them.
Know what is being a father when you take it to touch God for the first time, teach him to pray for all and feel your love is something you can confidently rest. And when you see it grows and you accompany, go along and you're at his side, and is becoming a teenager and in that process you do not leave it, however hard it is to see that little by little out of you, to go in search of himself.
Know what is being a father when you hear the unexpected demand and desire for independence. The day you stop accompany you, because your friends are waiting and you feel your heart trembles, for the day came sooner than you think and feel deeply that it should be, because it is the price you'll pay for the learning of their final flight .
And finally know what being a father when one day your son have to leave to study elsewhere, or work away and eat nostalgia happy hours before enjoyed in his company and perhaps the phone or internet link distant you join him.
Especially when someone come and take him on your side to chase another rainbow of his own life, shared with someone you love and you must accept it, because that is the law of life and your child was only given for a while.
Then you will know what it is knowing you father. Not studied for it, but I lived and will live. And the joy that you provide must then be greater than the pain that is the feeling that something very tender farewell to your soul. But it is only then that you know fully, the wonderful experience, a gift from God, who is known father.
Know what is being a parent when you realize that the fruit of your dream is now a vibrant reality, living skin tenderness and innocent look to your joy.
You will know the joy of being a parent when you understand your dream and will never be complete, when you hear the crying in the morning, your long dark circles and the satisfaction of seeing your renewal peacefully asleep, but you can not do.
Only you know what is done beaming father when your child walk around in his golden stroller, you talk even though you do not understand you see it yet and surprised to discover every little thing that will be your first lesson in philosophy.
You'll know what it means to be a father when at night run by the medicine you need to ease your fever, to keep track of their shots and when you zoom in on tiptoe to his crib to listen to your breathing, rhythmic and happy.
When I first tell you dad, laugh when he sets the air and not feel the danger because you give your smile safety when prompted him to take his first steps, unequivocal signal that begins the path to your destination and run behind where eagerly his bicycle pedaling the trails and distances the future of your life journey.
You will know the wonder that you have when you wear it for the first time to school and look at his watery eyes not wanting to separate from you and feel the soul sore to walk away leaving him in the midst of other egos, which, however, you learn to be shared.
When you show your first scrawled drawings, which precedes budding Picasso in them the desire for beauty that hides in your heart. And especially when they hug you, taking your hand, thus symbolizing the trust of your strength, that will give you security in your walk.
Know what is being a father when you claim your time and have to seek and find where you when you take it to the circus and the beach and the promenade tiring but rewarding, when on holiday together dream in which both belong completely when you teach to play and complete the puzzle and together walk through the park every splendid April afternoon.
Understand the wonder that God gave you when you first rete with their questions and when you do not know how to answer, when you help to write the letter to Santa and wait until the eve of Christmas with the shared desire of yours and a new child Find in your embrace, your touch and your kiss unconditional, how much you love them.
Know what is being a father when you take it to touch God for the first time, teach him to pray for all and feel your love is something you can confidently rest. And when you see it grows and you accompany, go along and you're at his side, and is becoming a teenager and in that process you do not leave it, however hard it is to see that little by little out of you, to go in search of himself.
Know what is being a father when you hear the unexpected demand and desire for independence. The day you stop accompany you, because your friends are waiting and you feel your heart trembles, for the day came sooner than you think and feel deeply that it should be, because it is the price you'll pay for the learning of their final flight .
And finally know what being a father when one day your son have to leave to study elsewhere, or work away and eat nostalgia happy hours before enjoyed in his company and perhaps the phone or internet link distant you join him.
Especially when someone come and take him on your side to chase another rainbow of his own life, shared with someone you love and you must accept it, because that is the law of life and your child was only given for a while.
Then you will know what it is knowing you father. Not studied for it, but I lived and will live. And the joy that you provide must then be greater than the pain that is the feeling that something very tender farewell to your soul. But it is only then that you know fully, the wonderful experience, a gift from God, who is known father.
Great!
Hello how are all. The truth is that although this is not done yet. I like 15 minutes later appear on that page was going to write again. This had never done before. I feel this is extremely rare to tell my life and do not know who I was contant. Sometimes I think it is good because it provides therapy and that people will read it as I neither know me nor will I judge. Sometimes it may be that you can give sound advice. The other day one of my classes I met a girl who had passed through what I went through. Between the two we saw tips, compare and find things that both unaware of. Well talking about something else I am a very dreamy and yet I have their feet firmly planted on earth. I love to smile and try to live the life the best you can. Only now I have my energy is a little low. Since last April I was asked the stomach reduction operation. It has been a series of changes in my life very difficult. Besides I am doing more than one hour of exercise. Well but now after several weeks and studies the doctor told me that my potassium level was very low and my blood pressure too. Now thankfully things have improved since my diet is based on protein and my energy level has improved greatly. Well for now I say goodbye and followed them and counting. Bye
Monday, July 12, 2010
Ready to start!
I kind of afraid to start writing. Because my first language it is not English. I speak fluent Spanish. I born in Mexico city and I went to university. I study to be a teacher. I love kids and I want to help the one's are special I us to work with them. But one day I decide to get married and move to United States and 1994. And like everybody else when you move to different country it is hard. Because you do not speak the language and everything it is new. In the beginning like I said was not easy but we be able to bought our own house and have our own business. Until we got divorce and 2004 and we lost everything. But I knew the life was giving me another lesson. To be strong. One of the rules I learned in my life was nothing it is impossible if you really want it. But the most value treasure I win on the courts was to keep my children with me. I start all over again myself with my kids. Nothing was that difficult because the engine of my life was my kids. Now I start a new carrier on Medical Business. I know if I been prepared I can offer a better life to my kids. I work always really hard to get what I want. That is why on my blog says always go forward never go back. Thank you. Azul
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